September 8, 2010

Recent Reading: Wuthering Heights

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. First of all, I need someone to please please please tell me why I am supposed to care about Catherine and Heathcliff. I know that I am probably stepping on a lot of Brontë-loving toes right now, but I cannot force myself to feel anything for these two hateful people who repeatedly make poor decisions and then punish everyone around them.

Please don't get me wrong. I am very glad to have finally read Wuthering Heights after all these years of avoiding it. I enjoyed the book, just don't really believe Catherine and Heathcliff loved one another enough to justify all the hullabaloo. One of the great things about our book club is that most of our reading comes from classics, which gives us all an opportunity to hopefully be exposed to wonderful books we've somehow not read yet. In case you're wondering how I somehow have not yet read Wuthering Heights, all I can say is that it has never appealed to me.

I almost got myself into trouble at Book Club and had to hush the verbal uprising when I compared Wuthering Heights to Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. It's not the first time I've had to defend an unorthodox comparison at a book club, having once incensed some Steinbeck fans by comparing Isabel Allende's Daughter of Fortune to East of Eden. But in my mind, Wuthering Heights shares with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof the trait of hateful people sniping at each other constantly without the redeeming Southern Gothic-ness of the latter. (And, no, it doesn't matter to me that Wuthering Heights is a Gothic novel.)

August 17, 2010

Recent Reading: To Kill a Mockingbird

Here in the Fiftieth Anniversary year of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, I celebrated by finally reading it. I know you are shocked to hear that I have lived this long without reading it and think I must be pulling one over on you. But it is true. And now I lament that it took me so long. The characters were like family or old friends to me.

First of all, my mother's family is from Alabama two counties east of Monroe County (or Maycomb County, if you please). So I know Lee's characters very well--the way they talk and act and love and fight and protect. Second, Lee was born just six years after my grandmother, making her a contemporary of my grandmother and very familiar-feeling to me. Even so, Scout's sassy mouth and tomboy ways are more like my mother than my grandmother.

I think that I, even though I am really a non-re-reader, will read To Kill a Mockingbird many more times in my life. I bonded with the characters, became enraged with the hateful, pitied (and became enraged with) the ignorant, and loved every minute of it.

July 28, 2010

Recent Reading: Bel Canto

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. From Ann Patchett's web site: Somewhere in South America, at the home of the country's vice president, a lavish birthday party is being held in honor of Mr. Hosokawa, a powerful Japanese businessman. Roxanne Coss, opera's most revered soprano, has mesmerized the international guests with her singing. It is a perfect evening, until a band of gun-wielding terrorists breaks in through the air-conditioning vents and takes the entire party hostage. But what begins as a panicked, life-threatening scenario slowly evolves into something quite different, as terrorists and hostages forge unexpected bonds and people from different countries and continents become compatriots. Friendship, compassion, and the chance for great love lead the characters to forget the real danger that has been set in motion and cannot be stopped.

Using a setting more appropriate for a thriller, Patchett has written a beautiful, lyrical love story(ies) complete with a large, distinctive cast of international characters and some Stockholm Syndrome dynamics. I really enjoyed this book. From the love-smitten Russians to the Japanese businessman with a gift for playing the piano to the poor girl with hopes of a better life who finds herself on the wrong side of the law, the characters are beautifully rendered and mostly believable. (I do believe, however, that a bunch of armed, teenaged terrorists would be more brutal toward hostages.)

The one thing I don't like about the book: The epilogue, which I could have done without. I won't give anything away here. But for my reading preferences, I would have preferred this book without the epilogue.

May 20, 2010

Recent Reading: A Slow Burn

A Slow Burn by Mary DeMuth. This is the second installment in DeMuth's Defiance, Texas trilogy. The first book, Daisy Chain, mesmerized me. While I quickly churned though A Slow Burn, it didn't mesmerize me as much as the first book. The reason why? I couldn't identify with the characters.

In Daisy Chain, I felt that Jed Pepper and I had walked in the same shoes for parts of our individual adventures. In A Slow Burn, I cannot relate to either Emory Chance or Hixon Jones. They are both in the previous book, which leaves off where this book picks up. I wanted to relate to them, tried to relate to them, because I am already invested in this story and want to know these characters and find out what happened to Daisy. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it in me to like a drug-abusing mother who took her child for granted or relate to the handyman who feels that God has told him to marry her.

My friend Jed Pepper is still around and lurking in this book, though his home life doesn't seem to have improved any. The next and last book of the trilogy is from Jed's mother's point of view. Since a battered wife is something I can relate to (not personally, people), I look forward to getting to it soon.

May 5, 2010

Recent Reading: The Alienist

The Alienist by Caleb Carr. Without beating around the bush, let me tell you that I love this book. This was my second reading, both of which were for book clubs. In New York City in 1896, an eclectic group of "investigators" are tasked by Police Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt to solve a series of murders of boy-whores--a segment of society that is rarely even acknowledged. Using the latest theories and advancements in psychology and forensic science, the group of fledgeling profilers forges an understanding of the murderer long before they eventually have to face him.

Aside from the obvious fascination for anyone who watches any of the CSI franchise, I think the writer part of me is engrossed by the idea of understanding how people think and operate and react to the world around them. Well, that's what Carr's profilers are doing, just without the benefit of actually knowing who they are understanding.

I also recommend Angel of Darkness, which features our same cast of characters in search of another baddie.

April 13, 2010

Recent Reading: Fahrenheit 451

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. We read Fahrenheit 451 for our last book club meeting. Since we are meeting next week to discuss another book, the time seems right to finally say something about the last book. For weeks now, I've wondered what my block is, why I can't form any cohesive comments about Fahrenheit. I still have no answer to that.

Every time I read this book, I am stunned by what a compelling story it is. Keith and I have a fair number of books, and the number keeps growing all the time. To immerse myself into a world where books are forbidden is agonizing. To imagine a life with no books, no imagination, no education is frightening. I wonder if I'd rather burn myself with my books than allow someone to deny me a life with them. I certainly hope I never have to find out.

Perhaps the biggest surprise for me in this reading was finding out that Keith had never read Fahrenheit before. Perhaps the biggest joy for me in this reading was watching him read the book and talk to the book and enjoy talking about the book. It's a wonderful thing to share something you love with someone you love.

February 3, 2010

Recent Reading: Dracula

Dracula by Bram Stoker. When I was a kid, on Saturday afternoons, our local channel 44 ran Creature Feature, which was typically a cheesy horror movie hosted by Dr. Paul Bearer. This was probably my first introduction to vampires. When, as a teenager, I read Stephen King's Salem's Lot, I was fairly sold on the merits of vampires as entertainment. Over the years, I've read a few Anne Rice vampire books and seen more than a few episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, but I am by no means a vampire junkie (I'm standing firm on not reading any of the Twilight books). If I were a vampire junkie, I would have read Dracula a long time ago, I guess.

The sum-up: I loved Dracula. The flawed characters, the heroes, the villains, the weak-willed women, the strong Mina Harker, the gradual unravelling of the story from various points of view, and the intricacies of the storyline. And a strong Texan never makes for bad reading, does he?

It's a wonder I haven't read this book before now. It's not just a horror classic; I think it is good literature and good fiction. I was intrigued by the art of the storytelling as Stoker spun out the story slowly, dropping hints and planting characters and suggestions along the way. Caught up in the epistolary style--the letters, journals, newspaper clippings--of the book, I was taken aback when Mina Harker started assembling all those pieces in the actual telling of the book. But afterward, whenever her party of vampire slayers would refer to the reams of work they'd collected on Count Dracula, I felt like part of their party--I had the same reams of their work in my very hands. Nice touch.

I am of a similar mind with my friend, Toni, who, upon finishing Dracula, began to read Frankenstein. My shelf of books such as Doctor Faustus, The Adventures of Dorian Gray, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde seems to be beckoning me.

January 17, 2010

Recent Reading: Drops Like Stars

Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell. This is a visually beautiful and artistic book that bills itself as "an exploration of the complex relationship between suffering and creativity, driven by the belief that there is art in the agony." Though it is about 150 pages long, it took very little time to read it... largely because many of the pages only had a few words on them. I said it was artistic and beautiful.

I have great interest in both subjects: suffering and creativity. I've suffered, and I'm creative. Then, the book opened with the beautiful story-image of a man who visits the same hospital twice in the same year--once for the miscarriage of a grandchild and another time for the birth of a grandchild. Suffering and joy cohabitating the same hallways. But then the book devolved into a collection of interesting stories and quotes.

I know several people who are infatuated with Rob Bell's message to the masses. While I do find him to be well-educated and to possess a broad knowledge base, my personal experiences with his work have not significantly enriched my life. This book in particular ended very abruptly for my taste and had me flipping many blank pages to find the real point of the message. I didn't find it. Perhaps because I believe that the works of Christian pastors should always lead the reader to Christ in some way, and Drops Like Stars didn't deliver on that expectation.

December 29, 2009

Recent Reading: Things Fall Apart

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. Our book club read Things Fall Apart as our last selection. Admittedly, I've never read any African fiction and wasn't exactly keen on using my precious pre-holiday reading time to explore it. The group gave the book mixed reviews, ranging from "It was okay, but I'm glad I read it" to "I loved it and will definitely recommend it." Amazingly enough, Keith and I were both in the "loved it" camp.

Consider this to be fair warning: If you want to read a book and like the main character, this is not the book for you. Okonkwo has a few redeeming moments, but fundamentally he is a hard man with hard hands and hard ways. As a matter of fact, during our book discussion, we entertained the question, "Is there a character that you identify with or will take with you?" That was a difficult question that mostly received a resounding "no." (However, there is one scene with Okonkwo's second wife, Ekwefi, that will likely stay with me for a long while.)

Even if I'm not particularly fond of the characters, I was smitten with the language and the rhythms of the book and could almost hear the drumbeats in certain passages. I appreciate any book that can transport me to a land I don't know, make me think of life in a different way, and help me understand characters living their own lives in ways I would never otherwise know.

November 23, 2009

Recent Reading: The Hobbit

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien. Yes, I've read this before. And, yes, I do love it. I am, after all, the woman with the "Let's Hunt Some Orc" tag on her car and the nearly life-sized Aragorn.

We read this selection for our latest Book Club gathering, at which Keith led the discussion, which was so much fun for me to watch, because he loves the book more than I do. Prior to the Book Club meeting, I was certain that Keith was going to ask us to name all thirteen dwarves, so I diligently practiced and memorized them (probably can't name Snow White's dwarves, but I can Bilbo's, even though Keith didn't ask). Here they are with no cheating: Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, Kili, Fili, Bombur, Bifur, Bofur, Oin, Gloin, Nori, Dori, and Ori.

I was also almost certain that he would try to lead the discussion in some Elvish language but was spared having to practice that.

I enjoy the fantasy, the adventure, the danger, the dragon, the treasure, the tiny hero, and even the touches of humor. But with this reading, I began to think that Bilbo's party should have lost a dwarf or two on its way to the Lonely Mountain. Surely a greater sense of real danger would heighten my reading of the book, right? Just a thought. And I am a little concerned about Tolkien's recurring device of using the eagles to save everyone's hides. But other than those little things, the book continues to capture my attention and make me dream of dragons and brave heroes and magical adventures.

November 5, 2009

Recent Reading: Einstein's Dreams

Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman. It's a rite of passage for all freshmen on campus to read the same book and participate in discussions. This year, somebody at Agnes Scott College had the fun idea to create alumna book clubs around the country so that we, too, could participate in this annual ritual.

So in anticipation of spending an evening with some fellow Scotties, I read this book. Unfortunately, the day after the scheduled book discussion, Keith was scheduled for a surgical procedure, so I didn't attend the book club. It sounds like I missed a lively discussion, so much so that the ladies involved want to meet once a quarter to discuss a book. I'm in for that.

But back to Einstein. I read this book a month ago and have thought about what it is that left me not feeling the love for this book. Every chapter is only two or three pages long, and the book is a fast read. So what's the problem? Here it is: I wanted more.

For years, Keith and I have joked at various times about doing like Einstein and taking a nap to solve a problem. Therefore, the idea of this fictional look at what Einstein actually may have dreamt about while formulating his theory of relativity was fascinating to me. Each chapter is a discrete dream, with a couple of "interlude" chapters that give a snapshot of Einstein in waking moments. Each chapter is almost like a different world where time operates differently. In one world, there is a center of time where time actually stands still. In another dream, everyone knows the exact moment of the end of the world (and then gather together holding hands like Whos on Christmas morning while the world ends). In yet another world, time moves backwards.

It truly is a fascinating idea for a book. But I wanted more detail about each of the worlds, about how the people lived and felt. But maybe Lightman's strategy was brilliant. Give me just enough detail to make my own brain work on filling in those missing pieces.

September 17, 2009

Recent Reading: Rebecca

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I am very much enjoying reading the classics selections with my new book club; however, when I see the word "romance" or "romantic" anywhere on the front cover, I lose interest. So when I bought my copy of Rebecca and read "The classic tale of romantic suspense" on the cover, I could not immediately start reading it. But when I did start, I read it rapidly, wanting desperately to find out why this couple lives in hotels and has settled into a routine of reading the English news rather than going home to experience it. I was not disappointed. (I was also pleased that the most "romance" in the book was this: "We began to kiss one another, feverishly, desperately, like guilty lovers who have not kissed before." Whew.)

I'm intrigued by the idea that du Maurier wrote an entire novel and didn't name the narrator; I spent much of the book not liking Maxim very much; and I wanted to jump into the book and throw Mrs. Danvers out the window on more than one occasion.

One of my favorite lines comes when Beatrice is conjecturing about the death of Rebecca. "A Communist, perhaps. There are heaps of them about. Just the sort of thing a Communist would do." I was so absorbed in the mystery and suspense at the time that I laughed out loud at the unexpected insertion of Communists into the plot.

Then, after I finished the book, I turned it over and read the brief bio blurb on the back cover, which sparked my memory and endeared du Maurier to me even more. Daphne du Maurier also wrote the short story "The Birds," which became the Hitchcock movie The Birds.

September 1, 2009

Recent Reading: The Count of Monte Cristo

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. I admit it. As a grown and married woman in the mid-90s, I was addicted to Wishbone. That cute little Jack Russell terrier introduced me to a lot of classic literature I'd never read, as well as cutened (is too a word) a lot of works I was already familiar with. So when my book club chose to read The Count of Monte Cristo as last month's selection, I already had a passing knowledge of this revenge fiction and very little desire to actually take the time to read it.

Then I was reminded by Toni that it is one of her all-time favorite books (don't get too excited--she has a lot of all-time favorite books). And then Keith devoured the book like he doesn't usually do for non-science fiction reading. And Danielle mentioned how much she was enjoying it. When I finally opened the book to start reading, I was very pleased to find it so intriguing that I wanted to read it to the exclusion of everything else going on. And even though all that revenge-taking can really take a toll on a person's soul, I would like to think that Edmond Dantes found peace.

The cast of characters is expansive, the whole idea of this elaborate revenge over the top, and the abridgment much-appreciated. It was fun to compare different abridgments at book club; however, it was irritating to have to go to different sources to fill in some important blanks missing from my Barnes & Noble Classics edition.

A brief note about Alexandre Dumas: I was interested to find that his life reminded me a bit of our previous book club author, Robert Louis Stevenson. Both were described as leading Bohemian lifestyles, both travelled extensively and used those travels to flavor their works, and both died of strokes. And then there's the idea that I think Monte Cristo is actually the Treasure Island.

August 11, 2009

15 Books

A couple of months ago, a friend tagged me on Facebook to list 15 books that will always stick with me. Though there are so many more books that belong on this list, these are the first 15 that came to mind.

  1. The Adventures of Benjamin Pink by Garth Williams. I read this about a million times when I was a kid.
  2. All things Hardy Boys. I had them all. In hard back. And read them compulsively.
  3. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. See how I cheat and get a lot more books on the list?
  4. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Any writer who can make me fall in love with a character earns my undying respect. It's up to you to figure out which character I love.
  5. Anything with "Harry Potter" in the title by JK Rowling. I'm not in love with any character here, just the whole world.
  6. Dennis Lehane books, especially the Patrick Kenzie books. See note on #4 about falling in love.
  7. The Doomsday Spiral by Jon Land. This was the first spy thriller I ever read. It hooked me on Jon Land if not the genre.
  8. Salem's Lot by Stephen King. A nurse at the hospital gave me this book when my brother was really ill. It diverted my attention from his near-death experience (selfish, huh?) and won King a place in my heart.
  9. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner. What Southern writer wouldn't worship this book?
  10. Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons. At the time I read it, it felt personal.
  11. Going to Ground by Amy Blackmarr. Again, I think timing can do a lot for a book, but I admire the way she can weave an essay.
  12. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I've long held to the notion that any book that can make me laugh out loud deserves some credit. I picked this book up in the bookstore one day, opened it, read a passage, and laughed out loud. Sold.
  13. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I'm not much of a re-reader (except for the first 5 on this list), but I do read this book every couple of years.
  14. Judith Ortiz Cofer's books, The Line of the Sun and Silent Dancing. This is a two-fer, because her work introduced me to a wider world of literature.
  15. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Read it, and you'll understand.

July 14, 2009

Recent Reading: Treasure Island

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. This book has probably been on my bookshelf for 30 years. As a girl, however, pirate stories were the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted was my Hardy Boys mysteries. In the effort to start a book club, some friends and I chose Treasure Island as our first selection. As it turns out, I truly enjoyed this pirate story.

When young Jim Hawkins gets swept up by circumstance to sail alongside the soon-to-be-mutinous crew of the Hispaniola as they go in search of Captain Flint's buried treasure, I'm swept along with him. Through his adventures and misadventures, I cheered on our young hero and undertook those adventures right along with him.

Stevenson presents us with such a rich cast of characters, whether friend or foe--Dr. Livesey's unflinchable courage, Squire Trelawney's boisterous good nature, Long John Silver's two-faced deceitfulness, and even Jim's innocent cunning.

As a girl, I might not have had any interest, but as a woman, I'm glad I picked up this book (and think my enjoyment was only partially affected by visions of Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Geoffrey Rush). Of course having just sailed on a schooner, though thankfully without the hard work or the pirates, I may have had a special connection to those sea-faring folk. I look forward to discussing the book with my friends soon.

May 7, 2009

Recent Reading: gods in Alabama

A couple of weeks ago I read gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson (pronounced as if her first name contained no "h"). Joshilyn Jackson is one of the funniest people I don't know; some time ago I stumbled upon her web site and have been hooked on her blog from that moment on.

Because I love her blog voice so much and also because I just love Southern fiction, I picked up copies of Joshilyn's first two books (Between, Georgia being the second book). Here's the basic premise of gods:

Arlene Fleet flees Alabama for the safety and far-off distance of Chicago academia. In high school, she had made a deal with God that if He kept her secret, she would never lie, fornicate, or return to Alabama again. When Rose Mae Lolley shows up at Arlene's apartment, Arlene figures that if God has broken their deal, she certainly has the freedom to. Under pressure to keep her secrets secret, Arlene invites her black boyfriend to Alabama to meet her family. What Arlene learns along the way is that returning to Alabama may not be all that bad and that lies come in all shapes and sizes. You'll have to read it for yourself to find out what she learns about fornication.

I read this book very quickly. The characters are well drawn, and Arlene is just crazy enough to keep me reading. As I was reading, two things bothered me: 1. I'm not a huge fan of books that alternate past and present chapters, and 2. I dislike information dumps at the end of books. Now that some time has passed, my brain has somewhat reconciled those issues with the whole of the book.

And even though my mother and I don't have the same taste in books at all, I gave her this book to read last time she was over here. I don't know what she thought of it but perhaps she'll let us know.

March 5, 2009

Recent Reading: Daisy Chain

Actual conversation #1:

Rita: I'm reading a book that has a preacher father who is a pillar of society and adored by everyone. But when he's at home, he's beating and belittling and terrorizing his family.
Roger: Nice.

Actual conversation #2:

Rita: So guess what the preacher was before he became a preacher.
Roger: A carpenter.
Rita: Bingo.
Roger: When did this woman steal your story?

Sometimes a book does more than transport you to another time and place. It does more than allow you to escape your world and trade it in for another for a few hours. Sometimes a book can seem to take your life and mash it up so that it's not really your life and serve it to you. It is frequently those books that I am unable to put down. Years ago, I figured out that I become overwhelmed with a need to know that the characters survived and triumphed over the evil in their lives.

So when Jed Pepper presented himself to me in Mary DeMuth's new book, Daisy Chain, I was hooked. Jed is a small-town Texas preacher's son. At fourteen, he must face too many demons--the demons that have his father's voice and tell him he's not good enough, the demons in his father's fury and abusive hands, the demons that tell him he's not man enough to protect his mother and sister from his father, the demons that punish him for not walking Daisy Marie Chance home the night that she disappeared. And I became invested in the welfare of this young man.

Sure, it's a Southern (for the sake of this particular story, I'm going to suspend my belief that Texas isn't truly Southern but rather its own entity) coming-of-age novel full of a cast of characters burdened with their own damaging secrets. And yes, it's full of dysfunctional people who aren't really doing the best that they can. It's just the formula I love in a book.

I almost laughed out loud at the end, not because it is in any way funny, though. My friends know that I don't like neat little tied-up endings, especially when they are forced into dialogue. Maybe I'm not your average reader, but I want a writer to let my brain do some of the work. There are absolutely no clean endings in this book. But since DeMuth has planned a trilogy, I hope that some mysteries will play themselves out in fuller detail later. Or perhaps sooner would be better.

December 18, 2008

Recent Reading: Marley & Me

Marley & Me by John Grogan. This is another of those books that has been on the shelf around here for a while. I was destined to read it but only now have been able to. I laughed. I cried. I laughed. And I cried. A lot.

Last Sunday marked the first anniversary of our loss of Timber. Even though that has brought a good bit of raw emotion to the surface from both Keith and myself, the impending release of the Marley & Me movie next week spurred me to read the book before Keith drags me to the theatre. Every time I see a trailer for the movie, I laugh out loud. I know that dog. I lived with that dog for ten years. I know it'll make me laugh and cry, but I have to see the movie just like I had to read the book.

As I read the book, I became more and more convinced that even though their personalities were vastly different, in many ways Timber and Marley are the same dog. From clearing a beach by squatting in the ocean to the wild variety of things they ate to their joy of life and utter loyalty, Timber and Marley proved to be kindred spirits. I enjoyed almost every moment of Grogan's life with his beloved dog. And relived my life with my beloved dog.

I owe Grogan many thanks for sharing his dog with me, even if it did make me cry and miss Timber.

December 10, 2008

Recent Reading: The Secret History of the Pink Carnation

The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig. For some time, Lynette has been telling me that I should read this book and all its sibling books that follow. Since neither historical fiction nor romance are the types of books anyone expects me to read, we can now all ask ourselves why Lynette would suggest these books for me. Right?

She said that if I were to write historical fiction with a bit of romance, I would write books like these. Books with mystery and action and wit and a bit of mayhem. And it's true that a little bit of flattery can often sway my reading habits. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to get around to the actual reading.

The book was kind of fun to read, even if it did have too much in the romance department and could have used more in the adventure department. And, please, I didn't know there was actually going to be sex.

Eloise Kelly, a Harvard grad student with a fondness for the Scarlet Pimpernel and other spies with colorful and floral names, is escaping a relationship by immersing herself in a romantic involvement with these French Revolution-era spies. Little does she know that her research will take her to the doorstep of a family with intimate knowledge of the identity of at least one of the spies.

The next of the books is The Masque of the Black Tulip, and I think I'm going to have to read it, too. Just don't be surprised if I skip over the mushy stuff.

October 14, 2008

A Quiz for Your Amusement

For all my friends out there who know just how much I love Jane Austen, I thought I'd amuse you all by taking the Jane Austen Heroines Quiz to determine which saucy Austen wench (surely there is such a thing?) I am.

The results:

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Since I have absolutely no way of knowing how on-target the results are (though I certainly like and agree with the "intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive" part), I'll have to trust you to let me know. And if you should decide to take the quiz, you can tell me how accurate I should believe your results are.

You can also take bets on whether this will make me lean toward actually reading Pride and Prejudice.

It's truly amazing the lengths I'll go to for your enjoyment.